I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize