There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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