when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
