That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
