Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
