Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My balls are so social today.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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