I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
