He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
