We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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