I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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