$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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