Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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