Welp...herpes.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
