Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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