Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize