I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize