We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
