summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
