I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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