just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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