as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
