so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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