The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
