This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
