I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
