party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
