god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
