i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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