you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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