Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Someone shattered a urinal.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
