So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
