I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The air was thick with penises
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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