I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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