Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have grass duct taped all over my body
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
