Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
