shes about as inviting as chlamydia
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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