did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
