Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
