This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
