Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
