after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize