Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
