I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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