Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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