I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
