His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
