Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize