This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
