I'm eating all of the evidence.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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