tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
