i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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