I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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