I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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