I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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