just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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