If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
