from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
