That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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