is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize